Family-Centered And Child-Inclusive Divorce

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Kim Bowen, LPC says “Marriage is risky business. Divorce is a real threat to EVERYONE who says “I do.”

A broken family is one of the primary reasons that could impact a child’s development as they grow older. We can only count on two results, negative and positive but never the neutral. For some, the separation of their parents might be one of the driving factors to become a better person and learn from their mistakes. But on the other side of the fence, the effect is too devastating and unbearable. We can never empathize on these situations unless you are a product of such circumstance; however, there are professionals out there who specialize in these cases (for therapy) and could help both of the parties involved in the divorce process which mainly includes the child. Pat Skinner, LPC says “When a biological parent finds a new partner, the children are often expected to show love and respect for that new partner right away”

Incompetent handling of divorce is a form of child abuse, and that happens mostly when the concern only circulates on the legal matter while overlooking at the mental issue which is a total disaster. Most of the time, a separating couple is more concerned about severing their marital contracts than looking at the very core of why they ended up that way. The thing is, it is a combination of failures on both roles as a parent and as a spouse. The two aspects must be addressed in a divorce process, and only a counseling firm is dedicated and competent to solve that. Counseling is done with collaborative expertise between a divorce coach and child specialist. Let us look deeper into the critical roles of each.

Tip on divorce: Amy Winchester, MA, LPC says “Legal issues vary by state, so it’s always best to seek legal advice from someone qualified that practices in the state where you live.”

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What Is A Divorce/Co-Parent Coach?

A divorce coach is a skilled professional who has undergone extensive training and research on how to efficiently handle a divorce with little to no legal damage. They have a vast timeline in experiencing different cases from various clients and can successfully guide both of the parties in an informed discussion regarding the risks, costs, and benefits of the separation process. A coach is expected to listen to each concerned individuals and make strategies on how to deal with the impact of such decisions to their whole being, and also the aftermath of their choices on how would they deal with new relationships if there is. Aside from that, they would also make sure that the clients are applying each strategy they advise and monitor if they are doing well with their personal lives. Unlike legal representatives, the role of the coach does not end after the divorce; it is even more crucial in their part that each has accepted that everything is inevitable and all the marital rights have been terminated. They would also inform each party that only the marriage bond has been lifted. Hence their role as a parent is permanent. As unfounded as it may seem, a reminder does not harm.

What Is A Child Specialist?

A child specialist is an expert who has a child psychology background. They help the child to cope up with all the negative emotions one can ever imagine after feeling that they have been left behind. It is normal for a child to experience changes in their behavior because of the lack of emotional support from both parents. However, letting this negative impact can be dangerous in the long run. The specialist may step in and diagnose the areas where the child needs the most. They will let them express their anger, sadness and even recall their happiest memories with their parents through drawings and a little sharing. They will know how and when to communicate with the child because forcing a therapy would cause no good at all. The process might be prolonged for some cases, but a therapist is dedicated enough to be patient in yielding the best outcomes.

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The Divorce/Co-Parenting Coach And Child Specialist As A Team

While the divorce coach works their way in settling each of the legal issues of the parents, the child specialist also does their best in guiding the child for the meantime. The counseling firm which houses both of the specialists does the wonder; they give the means of opportunity to collaborate and brainstorm for the best approach in handling the case as a whole. A lot of options may be given for the clients based on the overall assessment which makes it useful since only the approved and comfortable strategies will be applied that could benefit both parties. No law firm could do that. However, they are also crucial since the divorce can only be realized through legal papers. But the thing is, we must not take the humanistic factors in these cases, because as individuals it is also one of our social responsibilities to assess the emotional and mental impacts of legal conflicts, and we could also benefit by learning from such adversities and reflect to ourselves why these people need professional help in the first place.