Sometimes, it is easy for us to know when we are sad and lonely. We know when we want other people’s company. Perhaps that’s because we deal with life’s uncertainness and that we require immediate help. But these are the only things we know. We sometimes forget the truth that we need something more than just a companion’s presence. We want something more that gets into the emotional requirements.
We understand our desire for emotional needs. It is all about happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment from sincere appreciation, safety, and accomplishments. It’s what we get from being part of something that promotes respect and importance. However, there’s an emotional need that seems too complicated to address. It is what most of us do not know. And understand – an emotional hunger.
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What Is Emotional Hunger?
Emotional hunger is a strong need for affection that usually originates in negative childhood experiences. It is a condition where an individual becomes dependent on something or someone to make them feel meaningful. In some instances, emotional hunger is often mistaken as the desire for love. Unfortunately, it holds a negative effect as it drains the person directed towards the other and leaves them empty.
Emotional hunger is always a bad thing because it usually starts with desperation and promotes self-harm and suicidal thoughts. But of course, it’s not a limited case, and everyone can get caught in a situation where the emotional desires flare up. But with only an intention of getting too much affection, we sometimes believe it to be a valid reason for love. Thus, it is fundamental that we understand the difference between emotional hunger and the latter.
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Signs Of Emotional Hunger
Constantly Seeking Others’ Approval – It is somehow a habit of most of us to jump to conclusions about what people think of us. We always have this sense of eagerness to know how others view us as friends, colleagues, family members, and significant others. We seek approval for every action we make and somehow adapt to what others want us to become. This type of mentality can cause stress. Sadly, despite knowing how it negatively impacts us, we still choose to continue with the habit.
Depending On Social Status – Emotional hunger can be too exhausting to handle as it makes us feel that there’s a need to comply with social status. Meaning, we believe that the more friends we have, the more we can keep our mental and emotional state at bay. But that is regardless of people’s value and contribution to our overall well-being. The lower self-esteem caused by emotional hunger can make us dive more into seeking validation and comfort, regardless of not being genuine.
Becoming Overly Clingy – We enjoy love and affection because that’s part of our nature. However, being overly clingy is a different story. It is like giving up ourselves too much that we disregard the negative impact of our desire for too much attention and comfort. We become clingy because we believe that it is the best thing to secure our relationship with others. We think that’s love. We do not care if we get drained up to the extent that we can no longer stand by ourselves.
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Not Having Or Setting Boundaries – Most counseling experts would agree that struggling to have boundaries is a sign of emotional hunger. The more we want others to become part of our lives, the lesser we respect our personal space. We believe that when we set up a barrier, people will automatically leave us for not being too open about everything. We worry too much that we might push people away. We do not try and appreciate the importance of alone time with ourselves because there’s the fear that we might end up liking it eventually.
Giving The Hundred Percent Of Everything – Sometimes, it is easy to give up and sacrifice everything because we believe that is the right thing to do to make others want and appreciate us. We risk our own needs to ensure our relationship with others. We give so much of ourselves that we forget to keep a portion to secure our overall health. We always make time and do favors for others despite trying so hard to be there for ourselves. We always give what people want despite the damages it causes us.
Working With Temporary Solutions – It is hard to identify emotional needs. But sometimes, we still feel not okay. That is why we often engage in temporary solutions like taking drugs and binge drinking. But for the most part, we tend to rely on physical intimacy or casual sex. We do it because of our desire to numb the pain we feel inside. We avoid important emotions by engaging in thrilling sensations. We trick ourselves by thinking that physical connections can provide emotional validation.